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Following the demise of the celebrated early nineteenth century
Chassidic teacher, R. Moshe of Kubrin, Reb Mendel of Kotzk approached
his disciples and requested they eulogize their master; describing
what made him so special. "There was no particular area
in life that he excelled in", they exclaimed. "Unique,
however, was that whatever he was doing at the moment, he was
completely present." That which he occupied himself with
at any given moment was all that was relevant to him. Whatever
he was doing and wherever he, was he was fully there.
It is within human nature, it seems, that what we acquire
easily and without exertion or difficulty is less valuable and
exciting to us than that which we work hard to obtain. Clearly,
"a person would rather possess a dollar earned than nine
dollars granted." This phenomenon extends beyond the realm
of objects and into the dimensions of time and space as well.
Except for peak moments the present generally feels less thrilling
or even relevant than the past or what the future will bring.
Indeed the grass does seem always greener on the other side of
the fence.
We tend to look forward in time or even backwards, but the
present, that which is the most important part of our reality,
appears to us the least attractive. We often find ourselves daydreaming,
reminiscing or running off in all directions of time while we
miss what is transpiring right in front of us. Noticeably, the
last place the mind chooses to settle is in the present, as it
is restlessly occupied with roaming in the otherness of past
or future. Perhaps, to the immature, both the future and even
the past seem much richer in possibilities than the fleeting
present.
When life is unsatisfying in the present, comfort is then
gained by remembering life as it existed in the past, how exciting
it was. Or alternatively, some may resort to the future, how
interesting life will become in the future. So many of us are
too busy ruminating over the past or planning the manipulation
of the future that we are perennially absent in the here-and-now.
"Those were the days" is a universal cry of the
disempowered spirit. This declaration and rumination of the past
demonstrates an unwillingness to deal with the present as it
is. Equally so is the fascination of what will become of us in
the future, whether in an older age or even once we no longer
embody the physical form. Discussion and certainly preoccupation
with the future is a result of the dissatisfaction with life
at the moment. When life is meaningful in the present, we will
not feel the need to look into the future or back into the past
for any form of validation or confirmation.
Mitzvot come to us with the intent of focusing our
attention to the here and now so we can be fully aware and present.
Mitzvot are designed to ground a person within the dimensions
of time -- the occurring moment and space -- and the immediate
surroundings, and than afford him the ability to hallow that
immediate. A vast group of present-day mitzvot pertain
to mundane human activities, such as how, what, and when to eat,
sleep, or do business. Essentially the Torah is an all comprehensive
divine code with invitations in the form of instructions on how
we ought to live life, with all its minutiae in a spiritual and
appropriate manner; aspiring to teach us how to celebrate and
fully experience life nobly and compassionately and with a divine
expansiveness.
All human activities from the more refined, such as love,
to the presumably insignificant, such as tying shoes, are all
included in the infinite embrace of Torah. The Torah's ambition
is to elevate the seemingly ordinary present into something extraordinary;
transforming the natural into the miraculous and the everyday
into the unique.
A human being doesn't need to live life and perform mitzvot
with a sense of nostalgia, or, for that matter so that they will
be rewarded and not punished in the future. Rather, mitzvot
are aimed to ground the doer in the experience, and ultimately
glorify the present and its Creator. The essence of the Jewish
experience is to be rooted in the here-and-now. With each mitzvah
done the doer brings to awareness the immediacy of the present
moment. To live in the present means to live mindfully, openly,
and with awareness of the Creator's immediate presence. With
this awesome awareness in mind, we transform a simple mundane
action performed in a seemingly simple non-distinct moment into
a hallowed action and elevated experience whereby the mitzvot
are the strings of connection.
A prisoner in the sixteenth century, who was incarcerated
for life, was given a unique choice: one day of the year he was
allowed to live life as a free man and practice Torah as he desired.
This presented him with a great dilemma. Being a devout practicing
Jew, he did not know which day of the year to choose so that
he could perform the optimum, whether in quantity or quality
measure of mitzvot. Should he choose the first day possible,
or should he wait for Shabbat, so that he could recite the kiddush
and pray an extra prayer. Perhaps he should wait until Rash Hashanah
-- the day commencing the new year? Or better yet, the holiest
day of the year, Yom Kippur, the day of atonement.? Unable to
reach a decision, he sent letters to the leading sages to seek
their counsel.
Some time later, one of the prominent Rabbis of medieval Europe
responded with the instruction to choose the first opportunity
that presented itself, be it Shabbat, weekday, holiday, whatever
day of the week and year was not relevant. He should choose the
first opportunity that was made available for him to be free
and perform mitzvot.
In Judaism the most important and valued time is the present,
and the moment that presents itself immediately in front of us
is the most consequential. To return to the present is to be
in contact with life itself and with its Creator. One of God's
sobriquets is hamakom (The Place), perhaps the inference
is that being here/now provides the greatest potential for spiritual
connection and growth.
Hashem, the name of God, the ineffable, traditionally called
the Tetragrammaton, is made up of four Hebrew letters, yud
- hei - vav - hei. This essential name can be read as, yud
hoveh- the yud in the hoveh, hoveh in
Hebrew meaning the present. Yud is the point, the beginning
that encompasses all further articulation. For this reason every
Hebrew letter begins with the small yud, and than later
the flow expands into various horizontal or vertical directions
to formulate other formations of letters. As yud is the
point, the point is in the now, in the hoveh, in the present,
what is here right here, right now.
The intention of performing good and noble deeds should not
be for the attainment of rewards in an after life, nor should
one feel that life is being lived to rectify that which has been
done in a previous incarnation. What occurred in previous lives
is often of no importance, nor is it imperative for our mental
or spiritual well-being to know what will become of us in a future
world. What is extremely relevant is Today. Any diversion of
attention into the future or the past is a stolen moment from
the extraordinary opportunity to live life in the present, and
to make each moment special and worthwhile.
Teshuvah is precisely about this awesome dimension
which we know as the present, reprogramming the present and thus
transforming past and future. It is the empowerment of the present
as it stands unrelated to past behaviors and experiences, and
to a degree non-contingent on what will happen in the future.
It is about Now. Only by being fully in the now can we birth
ourselves anew, and do so at any moment, otherwise we become
limited by our past, and a slave to a fixed self image without
the possibility for any real change.
Indeed, the present is in fact a great anomaly. Whereas all
there is, is the now, it is so fleeting that it is difficult
to acknowledge being in it. Still, strictly and logically speaking,
one cannot go into the past or the future, even if theoretically
it were possible, because once in that place it would be occurring
in our present. Arguably, the past and the future do not exist
in reality; they are but fragments of memory or imagination.
To 'do' teshuvah, or better yet, to be in a state of
teshuvah one is required to detach oneself from past experiences
and view the present as the sole reality. The one who desires
to journey on the path of teshuvah needs be totally in
the eternal moment and fully present and aware. For this reason,
the feelings of imprisonment, the past or the gravity of the
future ought to be relinquished, if not disregarded completely.
When garments are dirtied with mud, it is best to wait a short
time until the mud has dried and only then attempt to scrub it
off. Similarly, when a human being does some soul-searching and
begins to acknowledge past mishaps, the initial reaction is to
immediately get involved and seek to mend that which has been
done; yet, this is not necessarily the wisest solution. In such
proximity to the deed any involvement with the deed as such,
even with intentions of rectification, may cause more damage,
which in turn will then require further repair. Often the best
course of initial action and reaction is to disregard the past
and view the present as a new and fresh beginning.
The power of today translates as boundless and inexhaustible
measures for renewed growth and opportunity. Through teshuvah
we have the amazing ability to release ourselves from the impressions
of the past, and untangle ourselves from the quasi-automatic
causality curtailing the apparent immutability of determinism.
What's more, by training to relate to life and the self as it
exists in the present -- sans the baggage and preconceived notions
of the past -- more of life, and consequently more of oneself
becomes available to the person and to others. What we have is
the present. The past is history, the future is yet to come,
and the present is indeed a present, a gift of sorts that offers
us a new lease on life and the hope to begin anew.
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